It’s a Lie. Don’t Believe It.
“You’re such a good mom.”
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve run into a momfriend from The MOM Journey in the grocery store or received an email and encountered that misrepresentation. When I started this blog a year ago, it wasn’t to give off the impression that I’ve figured this mom thing out. It was because after stumbling through 20 years of trial and error, paved with prayers such as, “Please, Lord. Don’t let me ruin my kids,” I had reached a point where I could look back with hindsight. You know, that 20/20 kind of hindsight that somehow makes the fuzzy, foggy, dilemmas of the past suddenly crystal clear…after it’s too late.
But in all that hindsight, maybe, maybe, I had found some wisdom worth sharing. But we all know where wisdom comes from, right? From making mistakes–the bigger the wiser. So, I started The MOM Journey…and you joined along.
But here’s the lie I’ve heard from some moms that really bothers me. It usually follows the first:
“You’re a good mom…I’m a terrible mom.”
That makes my heart cringe! Because every time a mom has said that, she’s never been someone I would nod at and think, “Yep. You are.” Instead I want to grab her by the shoulders, look her in the eyes, and insist, “No. No. You’re not. Don’t say that.” Because she’s not.
After I try to convince my defeated momfriend she is amazing, I kind of smile at the irony. If you remember, when I started this blog I called it The MOM Journey…and Confessions Along the Way because I had a lot to confess! How ironic that I share my failures, but instead of seeing my mess, my incredible friends see success. Maybe it’s not so much what I’m saying but that I am saying it, confessing it…and that’s what people hear??? I don’t know. I haven’t figured it out. Because…
I wrote It’s Not Your Drama, Mama because I haven’t figured out how to drama-proof my kids. In What Our Kids Have to Say, I didn’t tell you one of those quotes came from my own daughter…because I’m embarrassed for you to know what she said. (And you know what? She was right.) And in We Get What We Expect I can talk about the mom who provides too many safety nets for her kid because I was that mom (and I still have to fight against being her).
So, no, I’m not “such a good mom.” But I’m not a terrible mom either. And neither is any other mom on this journey. We’re just moms, loving our kids, doing our best most days…but not quite perfectly. And that’s why I gave The MOM Journey a new tagline when we moved to our new blog home:
The MOM Journey…where moms aren’t perfect and that’s perfectly okay
It seems more fitting. Because that’s what this journey is about…getting it right sometimes, getting it wrong sometimes, but getting better each time–together–along the way. So no more lies.
MARCH GIVE-AWAY! Momma, you need a little pampering! How’s a mani or a pedi sound? I’ll send a gift certificate to one lucky momma at the end of the month. Share this post, comment, or sign up to follow The MOM Journey and you just might win!
FREE ALANA TERRY BOOK! Don’t forget to hit that pink button to download one of Alana’s books. I finished Unplanned last night, and a friend emailed to say she started it last night–she loves it! (And did I mention it’s free?)
COMING SOON…We’re going to tackle a tough topic on The MOM Journey…teen depression and anxiety. I heard that…that beat some of your momma hearts just skipped…because depression and anxiety are a heavy cloud hanging over your child. It’s an increasing concern in families, and we’re going to talk about it.