You Won’t Believe What I Wanted for Mother’s Day

My girls were one and and three when my hubby asked what I wanted for Mother’s Day. I remember looking at him–hesitating–wondering if I would really say out loud the answer exploding inside my exhausted head. I tried to think of a more acceptable answer–a mani/pedi maybe, or a Kohl’s gift card, or a piece of jewelry.

But the truth is, I didn’t want any of those things. I wanted only one thing…needed only one thing…and I couldn’t believe I was actually going to admit it. Would he see the apology in my eyes when I said the words?

“What I want most is for you and the girls to go to your dad’s for the weekend.”

WHAT?!?!?!

On Mother’s Day?!?!

What you want most for Mother’s Day is to be away from your family?!

“Well, it doesn’t have to be on Mother’s Day…just…sometime.”

My hubby was speechless. I could have told him I wasn’t actually his wife but an alien life form from another planet in another galaxy far, far away in another universe. He would have been less shocked.

But the idea sounded soooooo goooooood. My house. All to myself. For 48 whole hours.

First I would sleep. Then I would do a whirlwind declutter so I could relax in semi-cleanness. And then maybe I’d grab a book from my books-to-read-when-I-get-to-read-again-someday pile…and definitely binge watch mindless TV.  Better yet, I’d go to the video store and rent all the movies I missed since giving birth. I could stay up til 3:00 watching rom-coms and sleep til noon just like the olden days! HEAVEN on Earth!

Ends up I didn’t get my Mother’s Day wish. Well, not that Mother’s Day at least. Instead, about ten months later, when I called my hubby to tell him I was on my way home from a three-day conference, he had a surprise for me:

“We won’t be home when you get here.”

Oh? Where are you going?

“To Dad’s.”

What for?

“The weekend.”

What?!

“Well, you know that one time when you said you wanted me to take the girls to Dad’s for the weekend? I thought this would be a good time to do that.”

No. No. Not when I’ve been away from my girls for three days! This is NOT a good time to do that.

“Oh.”

Bless his heart. He tried. And now that our girls are (almost) 17 and 19, when he sees young moms corralling little ones, he recognizes all the energy being a young mom takes. Not too long ago we were all nostalgic and reminiscing about when the girls were little. He looked at me so apologetically and said, “I didn’t know.” And he didn’t know then, that sometimes I needed a break. That we didn’t have grandparents close by to help. That his work schedule, which was split between day and evening shifts, left me to parent alone half the time. But he did his best…and to be honest, his best was pretty darn good.

But, oh, how nice a weekend alone would have been!

Now another Mother’s Day is approaching. Momma, what do you need this Mother’s Day? Is there something you wish you had the courage to ask for?

Maybe it’s not as selfish as a weekend of solitude like I wanted. Perhaps it’s a little pampering, like an appointment with a masseuse. Or maybe you just need someone to permanently take a task off your hands, like taking out the trash–forever.

Moms sacrifice. We wear ourselves thin taking care of everyone, and sometimes we wonder who is taking care of us…because we’re certainly not. But being a mom is what we do. And we love it. Because we have the best job on any planet in any galaxy far, far away in any universe.

Sometimes, though, we have to give ourselves permission to say…hey, I need [fill in the blank]. Because our needs are important, too. And we’re not invincible. And the people we live with aren’t mind readers. I used to think my hubby should know what I needed, that I shouldn’t have to tell him. And then I’d feel resentful because he couldn’t figure out on his own what I wasn’t saying out loud. How unfair was I?!

Since my girls are older, that weekend of solitude isn’t such a dire need. However, a mani/pedi sure sounds nice. But I never know what I’m going to get for Mother’s Day anymore. My hubby stopped asking that question!

Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from Him. Psalm 62:1

***

So, Moms, what would you like to receive for Mother’s Day?

Or what “something special” will you do for a mom this weekend?

Leave a comment below to be entered in the May give-away! (Believe me, you want to win this one!)

Share this post on Facebook and Twitter, or enter your email and follow The MOM Journey, to get more entries and more chances to win!

If sleep is on your Mother’s Day wish list, you’re gonna love this!  (What mom doesn’t need more sleep?)

This month’s drawing is for a bottle of lavender essential oil from Young Living!

YAY! If you use essential oils, I know how excited you are about the lavender! If you don’t use essential oils yet, READ THIS to find out why you want to win this give-away! Or contact Anna-Marie, one of the moms on the journey with us, for all the info about all the oils:

a-m.beard@outlook.com.

If you missed the winner of the April give-away, CLICK HERE to see who gets the Corinthians bangle! (And guess who had multiple entries in the drawing…Yep! She did!)

If you wonder, “Why all the give-aways?”–it’s my way of saying THANK YOU for being part of the journey. As of today, we are 180 strong, only 20 followers away from 200! When I started The MOM Journey two months ago, I didn’t think I’d get 20 followers. WOW. Now, 5,500 views later, I am so blessed and encouraged that you give me a reason to do something I love (write!). And when I share my confessions and my lessons learned from my 1,000,000 mistakes…your comments and texts and emails and hugs make me feel normal! THANK YOU.

Happy Mother’s Day!

 

 

 

Blessings!

29 Comments

  1. Beth Havelka says:

    I would love to have family photos taken.

    • Karen says:

      What an awesome Mother’s Day idea, Beth! Anyone looking for an amazing photographer in the Valley…check out Heidi Wharton Photography!

  2. Andrea says:

    What a giveaway! I love YL lavender & use it on my kiddos most every evening. Sometimes they need help falling & staying asleep. My only problem with that is opportunity! So my Mother’s Day wish is a nap.

    • Karen says:

      You will nap again someday! I promise! I’m so excited you’re excited about the lavender. It’s definitely the most used oil in my house.

  3. Crystal Goodson says:

    I would enjoy a weekend with no mothering “work”–only play. No dressing, diapering, meals or putting down for naps. I’d love to enjoy play time without thinking of what needs to come next, and be able to walk out of the room whenever I please. 😊

  4. Renee Murphy says:

    Sleep. Definitely sleep. My lil guy is teething so that means no sleep for this momma for the past week. Out of all the amazing things I could get Sleep and an enjoyable day out fishing with my little family would be perfect.

  5. Sandy Slusher says:

    Happy Mother’s Day to one of the greatest moms I know. Thank you, Karen for openly sharing with us.
    All mom’s need time to themselves to reenergize and have “me” time. We pour so much of ourselves out each and every day to all those around us. It’s sometimes hard not to get lost in it all. So, we all need time away to remember who we are. There should never be any guilt in taking care of you. Taking care of you makes you better so you can be better at taking care of everyone else.

    • Karen says:

      Like the oxygen mask on airplanes, right? 🙂 Thanks, Sandy, for always be a great friend and source of support in every way!

  6. Jo Ella Finley says:

    Karen, I just found this and I so relate to it, especially when I was teaching and had two at home plus a busy husband! You are so talented–when are you writing your first book?!

    • Karen says:

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Jo Ella! I hope some of the young moms will be encouraged by your comment and not feel guilty when it’s time for them to “get away” and recharge. Book?…What book? 🙂

  7. Kim says:

    Love this!

  8. Kathy Glaskey says:

    Karen, when our kids were young, this was my dearest wish also…time alone! I think every Mom must have this wish, whether they can admit it or not. Thanks for sharing. I enjoy your posts!

    • Karen says:

      Thanks for sharing, Kathy! I remember feeling so much guilt about wanting some “me” time.I hope as some of the younger moms read comments like yours that they’ll realize it’s okay to steal a little solitude sometimes.

  9. Karen, I came across this through a friends fb page. Wow, when you think you are the only one that needs a break. But, feel guilty for thinking it! I would love family photos as well.. thank you for your blog, I cannot wait to read more.

    • Karen says:

      Heather, I’m so glad you found us! Thanks for taking the time to comment. It is SUCH a blessing when a mom reads my craziness and then says, “Me, too!” Since you just found us, you probably haven’t read the post “I Have Baggage.” You might want to check it out. It’s by far the one moms read and responded to the most (unless you don’t have baggage). 🙂 If not, I have plenty…I’ll share! HA!

  10. Michelle says:

    Peace mother.

  11. LM says:

    Exactly!Right on! Wewsh, someone else said it! Wait does it make me sound like a bad mom? Well, we all need to just be Laura’s (fill in your name) again, right? I know, I know, I know, we are supposed to give over our selfishness when we birth our first child and we do. However, every now and again we have to get a reboot or a rejuvenation! This helps us to be better mommies and people in general. The trick is to not feel guilty when you leave your babies and decide to do something for yourself. Remember the old saying, “if momma aint happy then nobody is happy.” It is true. YOU have to decide to love you kids and your spouse with all your heart and then take a little time be who you are as an individual. Go out with a friend for a nice, HOT meal, a mani/pedi, coffee, excercise, etc. Lastly, don’t forget to date your husband while your are being an individual. Take it from a mom, who has been divorced, quality time for yourself and with your spouse are equally important for a happy family.

  12. Ashley says:

    My daughter asked me this same question just yesterday. I am a sucker for the homemade gifts- and that is exactly what I want. She looked at me with wild confusion when I told her my request. I cherish those handmade cards and little crafts.

    • Karen says:

      I agree! They are such sweet reminders that our kiddos are giving a part of their little hearts to us!

  13. Toni says:

    You did it again! Hit the nail right on the head. Been there and done that or thought that. I’m now in that stage of life where I just need the occasional reassurance that they still love me.

    • Karen says:

      We are just entering that stage in our household…as the girls are getting more independent and thinking they don’t need their momma. 🙁 Your comment makes me think of a plaque I gave my mom recently: A woman finally realizes her mother was always right when she has a daughter who thinks she is always wrong! So I guess it’s going to come back around someday…right? 🙂

  14. A-M says:

    I love this truth so much. I know I’m much better in my mom role when I’ve done the work on the inside. When I’ve got things right internally, the rest seems to take better care of itself.

  15. Lora Moses says:

    Karen, this is awesome! Ben asked me the other day. I was in the process of putting in a new flower bed and answered “more potting soil.” He looked unsure as to whether I was being truthful. The gift doesn’t matter, though. It’s the thought! A nice meal with us all around the table again would be perfect! I love having the kids home together!

    • Karen says:

      It’s the simple things, isn’t it? What can fill a momma’s heart more than having her all her kids home and around the table? Thanks, Lora!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.