You Won’t Believe What I Wanted for Mother’s Day
My girls were one and and three when my hubby asked what I wanted for Mother’s Day. I remember looking at him–hesitating–wondering if I would really say out loud the answer exploding inside my exhausted head. I tried to think of a more acceptable answer–a mani/pedi maybe, or a Kohl’s gift card, or a piece of jewelry.
But the truth is, I didn’t want any of those things. I wanted only one thing…needed only one thing…and I couldn’t believe I was actually going to admit it. Would he see the apology in my eyes when I said the words?
“What I want most is for you and the girls to go to your dad’s for the weekend.”
On Mother’s Day?!?!
What you want most for Mother’s Day is to be away from your family?!
“Well, it doesn’t have to be on Mother’s Day…just…sometime.”
My hubby was speechless. I could have told him I wasn’t actually his wife but an alien life form from another planet in another galaxy far, far away in another universe. He would have been less shocked.
But the idea sounded soooooo goooooood. My house. All to myself. For 48 whole hours.
First I would sleep. Then I would do a whirlwind declutter so I could relax in semi-cleanness. And then maybe I’d grab a book from my books-to-read-when-I-get-to-read-again-someday pile…and definitely binge watch mindless TV. Better yet, I’d go to the video store and rent all the movies I missed since giving birth. I could stay up til 3:00 watching rom-coms and sleep til noon just like the olden days! HEAVEN on Earth!
Ends up I didn’t get my Mother’s Day wish. Well, not that Mother’s Day at least. Instead, about ten months later, when I called my hubby to tell him I was on my way home from a three-day conference, he had a surprise for me:
“We won’t be home when you get here.”
Oh? Where are you going?
“Well, you know that one time when you said you wanted me to take the girls to Dad’s for the weekend? I thought this would be a good time to do that.”
No. No. Not when I’ve been away from my girls for three days! This is NOT a good time to do that.
Bless his heart. He tried. And now that our girls are (almost) 17 and 19, when he sees young moms corralling little ones, he recognizes all the energy being a young mom takes. Not too long ago we were all nostalgic and reminiscing about when the girls were little. He looked at me so apologetically and said, “I didn’t know.” And he didn’t know then, that sometimes I needed a break. That we didn’t have grandparents close by to help. That his work schedule, which was split between day and evening shifts, left me to parent alone half the time. But he did his best…and to be honest, his best was pretty darn good.
But, oh, how nice a weekend alone would have been!
Now another Mother’s Day is approaching. Momma, what do you need this Mother’s Day? Is there something you wish you had the courage to ask for?
Maybe it’s not as selfish as a weekend of solitude like I wanted. Perhaps it’s a little pampering, like an appointment with a masseuse. Or maybe you just need someone to permanently take a task off your hands, like taking out the trash–forever.
Moms sacrifice. We wear ourselves thin taking care of everyone, and sometimes we wonder who is taking care of us…because we’re certainly not. But being a mom is what we do. And we love it. Because we have the best job on any planet in any galaxy far, far away in any universe.
Sometimes, though, we have to give ourselves permission to say…hey, I need [fill in the blank]. Because our needs are important, too. And we’re not invincible. And the people we live with aren’t mind readers. I used to think my hubby should know what I needed, that I shouldn’t have to tell him. And then I’d feel resentful because he couldn’t figure out on his own what I wasn’t saying out loud. How unfair was I?!
Since my girls are older, that weekend of solitude isn’t such a dire need. However, a mani/pedi sure sounds nice. But I never know what I’m going to get for Mother’s Day anymore. My hubby stopped asking that question!
Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from Him. Psalm 62:1
So, Moms, what would you like to receive for Mother’s Day?
Or what “something special” will you do for a mom this weekend?
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If sleep is on your Mother’s Day wish list, you’re gonna love this! (What mom doesn’t need more sleep?)
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Happy Mother’s Day!