Author Liane Moriarty says something about this that makes me smile: “Friends and family don’t believe you write fiction. They truly believe that every word you write is either autobiographical or based on them.” I’ve never created a character who is a clone of a real person. But, my experiences with people leave impressions on me that I draw from. For instance, if a character is compassionate, I might reflect on compassionate people in my life and what that might look like for my character. Or if my story includes a law enforcement officer (and they usually do), I draw upon my experience being married to a highway patrolman. However, I do enjoy naming characters after family and friends just for fun. I wonder when they read my book and see their name if they think, “Did Karen name this character after me?” Ninety-nine percent of the time there is no connection between the name and the character’s personality or plight. It’s just a fun shout-out to people I care about.

The absolute very best part of being a writer is receiving emails from readers who say my book made a difference, not simply that they liked it—although those are wonderful messages to receive, too—but that the story touched them in some meaningful way. With Butterflies, so many readers who were grieving the loss of a loved one said they felt hope after finishing the book. I’m amazed at how many people shared their own experience of seeing butterflies after the death of a mother or sister or child and believed the butterflies were a sign of comfort and peace. Those messages fill my heart and give me a reason to keep writing.

The worst part of being a writer is writing! It is hard work! I’m not sure who said this, but I often repeat this quote: Nobody likes writing. Everybody likes to have written. I enjoy dreaming and thinking about a chapter. And I love when the chapter is finished. But that part between—it’s self-inflicted torture! And there a lot of chapters in a book! When asked during a webinar what she thinks about when she is writing, my friend Jessica Strawser said, “I think, why do I keep doing this to myself?” This is why messages from readers are so valuable to authors. It makes us think all that hard work might actually be worth it. (So, thank you!)

I wish I had one. I really do. I’d love to say I write every day from 6 AM to noon. But sometimes I don’t see my laptop until noon or after. I am so undisciplined (which will shock my former students who read this, and who might be calling me a hypocrite right now. Sorry, kiddos!). I do prefer to write in the morning because my brain works best then, fueled by coffee with cream. My goal is to write 1,000 words a day, but I rarely meet that because I am a s-l-o-w writer. I can’t write “sloppy copy” and move on knowing I will have to come back and revise. I try to make each scene the best I can the first time—not a method I recommend. I’m also terrible with self-imposed deadlines. I can’t tell myself, “You better write 5,000 words by Friday or else!” Or else what? I don’t know. But if an editor gives me a deadline? I wake up writing and go to bed writing and may or may not shower or eat until I beat that deadline.

I have received so much great advice from writing coaches, other authors, books, articles, etc. But here’s one I think about a lot that I read in an interview of one of my favorite authors, Celeste Ng: One of the rules of engineering is first, make it functional. Then make it elegant. Obviously, I don’t follow this advice because I try to perfect my writing as I go. But I want to follow it. It makes sense to me. I just have to find the magic switch in my brain and flip it.